The Beginning

2010, 2011 and 2012 have not been very good to me. Hardship, heartache, illness... I saw all of that. But here I am, a few months away from 2013, and I feel like the worst is over. I made it through those tough times with my head held as high as possible, and now that I'm feeling better, I'm looking to the future. What do I want most out of 2013? If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said a baby, without hesitation. Today? I answer health. It's taken me a while to wrap my head around the fact that I can't have one without the other. I have to take care of me before I can become an incubator for someone else =) Yes, I've been dealt a shitty hand and have 2 illnesses that cause weight gain. But looking at the facts, it was a problem long before that. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am today had I not gotten sick, maybe I would have been here regardless. It doesn't matter. I'm here, sitting in a very unhealthy state, no matter how I got there. If I want the future I've had mapped out in my head since I was a little girl, I have to do something about it. With the help of a family member, I will succeed. I will lose the weight that is holding my dreams just out of my reach. Starting next week, I will be taking part of the Take Shape for Life program. It won't be easy. I will have to make a lot of sacrifices, and my will and determination will be tested... But I have to do this. I am very committed. I decided to put my infertility blog aside and create a new one for this journey. Having the blog before was helpful, very helpful. And I will make it a goal as part of my program to write in it daily, or at least every other day. Not only will it help me, but if I have any friends and family who want to keep track of my progress, this will be the place for it. I won't be embarrassed to post the complete truth about this experience, and I hope anyone reading won't be judgmental. We all fight different battles. This is mine. I am ready... I want my life back.